How Badly Did I Hit My Head?
by LazyPianist
Summary: Jonathan slips on ice and hits his head. Jace wakes him up from the ground. Jace knows Jonathan, but he doesn't know Jace, which makes him realize that he doesn't remember some things from his recent past. Jonathan soon realizes that he has feelings for Jace. Did he have these feelings before the incident or did he hit his head so badly that it caused him to feel that way?
1. Chapter 1

**I wrote this a while ago and it was supposed to be a one-shot, but I decided to split it into chapters since it got a bit too long. It's gonna have 4 chapters and I have 3 chapters ready. I just need to write the ending.**

* * *

"Hey! Jonathan, wake up," is the first thing I hear when I wake up. I slowly open my eyes and see a man looking down at me. He looks more like an angel than a man though. He has a perfect golden blond wavy hair and gold eyes.

"What's going on?" I ask him. I choose that moment to look around. I'm outside! Why did I wake up outside? I sit up fast from the ground that I was lying on. I immediately feel very dizzy and my head hurts.

"I saw you slip on ice and hit your head pretty badly. I think I better take you to the hospital." There's something about the way he talks, like he knows me. And he knew my name.

"Who are you?" I ask him and he frowns.

"I'm Jace. You don't remember me?" he asks confused. The name doesn't sound familiar at all.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are. Should I know?" Oh god, what if I'm having amnesia? I do remember my family. Do I still live with my parents? No, I can't be, I'm 22. So, I guess there are things I don't remember. Shit! What if I'm older since there are things that I can't remember?

"I used to date your sister. We broke up four months ago when I found her cheating on me with that bastard Sebastian." He started with a gentle tone, but his voice got bitter as he neared the end.

"What?! Clary is dating that asshole again?" I stand up quickly from the ground, which is a bad idea. I almost stumble back down right away, but Jace gets up fast and gets a hold of me.

"I think we really need to go to the hospital. You're having concussion and probably amnesia too," he says and frowns at me. I feel a flutter in my stomach as I notice how close he is to me and he still has a tight hold on me. Have I always felt this way about him? It can't be since I'm straight. I am straight, right?

How could I not feel anything? I mean he's so beautiful. Okay, I think I really need to go to the hospital right now.

Jace tells me that he can take me to the hospital with his car which isn't far. He still has a tight grip on my waist as we walk.

When we arrive to his car he opens the passenger's side door and helps me in. He then quickly walks to the driver's seat and starts the car.

"I'm not dying, so you don't need to hurry so much," I say.

"Yeah, but the hits on the head are always pretty serious."

"Whatever," I mumble and turn my head to look out the window.

"Holy shit! You're bleeding!" Jace exclaims and the car moves off the road a bit. I turn my head swiftly towards his direction and put my hand on the back of my head. My hair does feel sticky. The blood probably shows pretty well since I have white blond hair.

"Careful. You don't want both of us to have to go to the hospital, do you?" I say a bit madly and he just stares grimly at the road.

We stay quiet for a while until he speaks again.

"So, you remember that asshole Sebastian, but you don't remember me?"

"Sorry. I guess it's because I went to the same high school with him and he was just that annoying," I say and Jace chuckles.

"You got that right. I can't believe Clary chose him over me," he says bitterly. I guess he's still not over the break up.

"I'm so mad thinking of her being with him! I just wanna punch that douche bag over and over again." I hear Jace chuckle.

"Oh you already did. You were there with me when we found them and you started to yell at him and punch him. I would've wanted to do it too, but I had to take care of my break up with Clary."

I feel very bad for him. I can't believe my sister would've done something like that.

"Why on earth did she choose that asshole?" I wonder out loud.

"Maybe she likes it rough," Jace says. I start to laugh loudly, but then I remember who we're talking about.

"Hey! That's my sister!" I yell and he laughs.

"Don't blame me. I just answered your question," he defends.

We arrive in the hospital parking lot. Jace quickly gets out and comes to open my door.

"I'm not handicapped, you know. It's just a concussion," I say and push him a little so I can get out of the car on my own. As I get up, I almost fall again. Again Jace gets a hold of me before I fall.

"You were saying?" comes a smug voice right beside my ear. I notice how closely he's holding me and I get that feeling again. It's starting to freak me out, but I have to lean on him for support as we walk towards the hospital's entrance.

When we go inside, they tell us to wait until a doctor can see me. We go sit in the waiting room.

"You don't need to be here. I can call Clary to come pick me up," I say, because I feel like I'm bothering him and wasting his time.

"No, it's okay. I don't mind. I don't really have anything to do today."

"Yeah, but you don't have to waste your time here," I try to argue, but he's not hearing it.

"No. I'll stay. Now, let me see that wound in your head."

I sigh and turn my head for him to see it. Soon I feel his fingers gently moving away the hair to get a better look on the damage. It doesn't hurt, because he's being so gentle. It feels really nice actually.

"It's not so big. You'll survive," he says and unfortunately removes his fingers away from my head. "The real damage must be inside since you don't remember me. I mean, how could anyone forget me?" He smirks arrogantly. I just roll my eyes and shake my head.

"You're not the only thing I forgot. I don't remember where I live or if I have a job. I can't even remember if I'm dating someone or not."

"I can't help you with that since we've never really known each other that well. You can just call your family and ask them," he suggests.

"I could do that, but they'll probably be very worried and stuff." I take my phone out of my pocket anyway and search for Clary's number. She should know what's going on in my life. "I'm gonna call Clary," I say and Jace nods.

"Hi Jon," comes my sister's voice from the phone as she answers.

"Hi. I'm in the hospital, because…" She doesn't let me finish as her worried voice interrupts me.

"You're in the hospital?! Why?! What happened?! Is everything okay?" she rambles nervously.

"I was getting there when you interrupted me. But yes, I'm fine. I slipped on ice and had a concussion. I'm waiting to get in. I called you because I have a bit of amnesia. There are some things I can't remember. Like my address and job and how old I am. So, it would be really nice if you could enlighten me."

"Oh, that's awful! You work at our parents company, so I'm sure they'll give you some time off. You're 23. I can text you your address. Are you gonna be okay? Do you have a ride home?"

"Yes, there's someone here with me at the hospital. He found me when it all happened." I believe it's the best to not tell her exactly who it was that found me.

"Can I talk to him? To thank him for taking care of you." I don't think that's a very good idea.

"Um, no, he went to use the restroom so he's not here right now," I lie.

She rambles worriedly for a while and then I'm finally able to get out of the phone. I sigh dramatically after I end the call. Jace laughs a little.

"Was it that bad?" he asks.

"You have no idea."

I get the text message of my address and show it to Jace.

"That's near where I live. I just moved in." I guess that explains why he was there when I woke up. The timing was really good though.

Soon they take me in and check me. The doctor tells me I have a concussion and the memory loss should go away in time. He doesn't know how long it will take. He cuts some of my hair out of the way and puts five stitches. And then we can go. He tells me that someone needs to wake me up every hour.

When Jace is driving us to my place, I still feel a bit weak and my head hurts. I just really want to go to sleep. I don't think it's very wise, but I'm thinking of just ignoring to have someone wake me up every hour. I'm sure I'll be fine. I mean, who would even want to do that for me? I definitely will not ask Jace. I will also not bother Clary or my parents.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me today. I don't know how I can repay you," I say and Jace turns his head for a moment to smile at me.

"It's no problem really. You're a great guy and I was happy to help."

I almost feel giddy as he tells me I'm great. Was there any chance that I had some feelings for him before? Or did I hit my head so badly?

I turn to look at him. The sun is shining beautifully in his golden blond hair and he has a relaxed look on his face as he's facing the road. He's wearing a black leather jacket, a gray shirt under that and black jeans. He looks hot. He's probably seeing someone or having one-night stands. Why do I even care?

I need to go to sleep and sleep this off, whatever this is that I'm feeling for him. It's so frustrating! Why don't I remember him?

"You're staring at me," I hear Jace say suddenly. I turn my head away fast, embarrassed.

"Sorry. I was just thinking." He just nods and thankfully doesn't demand to know why I was looking at him.

"Do you have someone to wake you up every hour?" Jace asks.

"Sure," I lie. I don't want him to volunteer, because he has done enough already.

"Really? Who?" he asks skeptically. Great. What am I gonna do now. Lie again?

"I'm sure I can come up with someone."

"Why do I have a feeling that you're lying and you have no intention on inviting anyone to wake you up?" Of course he knew I was lying!

"I just wanna go to sleep. I'm sure I'll wake up in the morning just fine."

"What if you don't wake up? If you won't invite anyone, then I guess I'm gonna just have to come myself." I knew he was gonna do that! If he'll come, he'll just mess up my head even more. I need him out of my head and it's not helping if he'll just stay around.

"No. You've done enough already. I really appreciate it, but you don't have to bother."

"Yes I do. We're here, come on."

I see that we've already stopped outside an apartment building. This is probably where I live.

Jace once again rushes out of the car and comes to open the door for me. He gently takes me by the arm and pulls me out of the car.

"You don't have to do this every time we get out of the car," I say a bit frustrated.

"Don't you remember what happened the last time you were too stubborn to accept my help? You nearly fell to the ground."

I scoff, but accept his help, because I have no other option. We walk inside the apartment building and then take the elevator to the 8th floor. We step out of the elevator and I search for the right door. As we find it, we go inside.

It's very nice and cozy. It's very open and has a lot of windows. It's definitely my apartment. Even though I don't remember living here.

"Nice place," Jace says.

"I know," I respond in amazement and he chuckles.

"It must be weird that you don't remember living here, but you have been living here for who knows how long."

"Yes, it is weird. And so are a lot of other stuff right now," I say, thinking about how I've felt about Jace today. "So, what do you wanna do now? I mean, you could go home and then come back when I go to sleep."

"No, that's okay. I can stay here. And besides, I think you would probably not let me in when I would come back. Seriously, this is not a problem for me. I'm happy to help."

He does have a point. I just don't want to bother him. I sigh and walk to sit down on the black couch in the living room. It'll take a while to get used to this. I almost feel like a guest in my own home.

"Do you wanna watch a movie?" I suggest since I can't come up with anything else.

"Sure," he says and sits down next to me.

And that's how we spend our evening. Watching movies and joking around like old friends. My mom calls me at one point to ramble nervously and she tells me to take as much time off from work as I need. How can I even work if I don't remember what I'm doing in there?

Jace makes us some delicious food. He can really cook. I feel like these feelings are getting stronger and stronger. He is just so amazing and perfect. I still don't understand how Clary could've chosen Sebastian over him.

"I wanna go to sleep," I say and yawn.

"I guess I'll sleep on this couch. I'll set the alarm clock on my phone for every hour and then I'll come wake you up."

I look at the couch and see that it can't be very comfortable to sleep in.

"You don't need to sleep here. I'm sure my bed is big enough to fit us both." I get up and walk to my bedroom. I see that the bed is pretty big. I hear Jace walking behind me.

"I guess you're right. And I think it'll be easier to go back to sleep if I don't have to walk between the bed and the couch."

I use the bathroom and when I go back to the bedroom, Jace is sitting on the bed and he's only wearing black boxers. And his body is perfect, with muscles and golden tan.

I quickly look away and walk to my wardrobe. I take off my shirt and jeans, leaving me in my boxers that I don't even remember putting on this morning.

I walk to the bed where Jace is already lying down under the covers. I lie down on the other side of the bed.

"I think you'll probably hear the alarm clock too. So, just say something to let me know you're awake."

"Okay. Goodnight," I say and turn off the lamp on the bedside table.

"Goodnight."

I fall asleep quickly, only to wake up way too soon by an incredibly annoying alarm clock. I groan annoyed and hear a chuckle.

"I guess that means you're awake," Jace says amused.

"Yep," I respond and yawn.

I fall asleep almost instantly. But then I once again wake up by that fucking alarm clock. Only this time I'm not on my side of the bed and I can feel a warm surface under my head. I then realize that I'm snuggling Jace. I untangle myself quickly.

"Sorry," I say.

"It's okay," Jace says amused.

"How are you in such a good mood after just waking up?" I ask sleepily.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just that perfect." He really is. It's hard to sleep off these feelings when he's right there and when I don't get to sleep well.

The rest of the night goes by the same. We wake up and he's all happy and I'm all grumpy.

The next time I wake up it's morning. Thank god. I thought the night would never end. I notice that Jace is not in the bed.

I get up and put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. I walk to the kitchen and Jace is there. He's making breakfast and he's wearing his jeans, but no shirt, revealing his beautiful back muscles.

I think you could already call this a crush. I mean how could anyone not have a crush on him? Maybe straight guys don't, but I should be straight! At least I thought I was, but he's making me question it.

"You could set the table instead of staring at me. I understand it must be hard not to stare at all this perfection," Jace says without turning to look at me. Does he have eyes on his back or something? Or maybe he quickly glanced at me, but I was too busy staring at his body.

I quickly walk to the cupboards and try to find plates and mugs, since I can't remember where I've put them. I finally find them and set us plates and mugs. Then I hunt down the forks and knives. I pour some coffee to the mugs and soon Jace sets down two plates full of pancakes with syrup.

I let out a groan as I taste the pancakes. He can do anything!

"These are so good that it makes me want to have a concussion everyday so I could have these pancakes every morning," I say my mouth full of pancake and Jace chuckles.

"What makes you think I'd be here if you'd have a concussion every day?" he asks teasingly.

"Because you're so perfect," I blurt out and my eyes widen. Why did I have to say that? Jace grins at me.

"Really? I guess I already knew that," he says and goes back to eating his breakfast. I'm so glad that was all he had to say.

After we've both finished eating, Jace starts licking the syrup that has leaked onto his hands. I can't help but stare as his tongue slowly slides up and down his fingers. He takes one of his fingers into his mouth and sucks on it. I can feel myself getting hard. It's like he's purposely being so slow and seductive. He notices that I'm staring and grins at me.

"You got some syrup in your hands? I could lick it off," he says and takes my hand in his. I'm utterly shocked and turned on as he takes my finger in his mouth and sucks on it, swirling his tongue. He's looking at me very seductively. I feel like I could come right now as he one by one sucks and licks all my fingers clean.

And then he takes my other hand. I don't know how long I can take this. I'm already fully hard as he starts sucking on my fingers more eagerly. I involuntarily let out a groan. I can see the hunger in his golden eyes. He must be bisexual. I must be too since I react this way to him.

He lets go of my hand and gets up. He quickly rounds the table and lifts me up to stand right against him. We're both breathing very hard as we hungrily gaze at each other. He licks his lips and closes the distance between our mouths. His soft lips move passionately against mine. I kiss him back with equal passion and hunger. I roam my hands all around his naked chest and back.

He licks my lips and I let his tongue enter my mouth. As I feel his tongue touch mine I become even hungrier for him. I run my tongue along his and he moans. He reaches his hand down to grab on my hard-on through my pants and now it's my turn to moan. He moves his hand up and down on my erection and I swear I've never been this turned on. No one has ever made me feel like this. At least I don't remember.

Just as I feel like I'm about to cum, the doorbell rings. We both groan in frustration.

"Ignore it," Jace mutters through our kissing. I do as he says and we continue, but the ringing won't stop. I separate myself from him and give him an apologetic look.

We walk together to the door. I open the door and come face to face with Clay. Oh shit. She can't know that Jace is here, but I guess it's too late as he is standing right here next to me, without a shirt. She doesn't notice him as she looks at me relieved.

"Why didn't you answer your phone? I was so worried after what happened yesterday."

"Oh, I didn't notice you had tried to call. Sorry," I say and then her gaze moves to Jace. She looks shocked.

"What are you doing here?" she asks him confused.

"He was the one who found me yesterday and took care of me," I answer. I'm afraid that if Jace would've answered it would've caused some argument between them.

"Oh, well thank you for taking care of my brother. I guess I'm gonna go now seeing that you're okay. Call me if you need to remember something or if you need any help," she says awkwardly.

"Yeah, I will. Bye."

"Bye," she says and closes the door as she leaves.

"That wasn't uncomfortable at all," I say sarcastically and turn to look at Jace.

"Yeah," he responds and has a thoughtful look on his face. I'm afraid our heated moment is over.

"So…" I say and his gaze snaps towards me.

"I think I should go," he says and goes to my bedroom, probably to get the rest of his clothes. What the hell? He can't just kiss me and then leave like nothing happened. We did more than kissing actually and he left me really turned on.

A moment later he comes back fully clothed and ready to leave.

"So, you're so just going to leave after what happened?" I ask accusingly.

"Seeing Clary and noticing how awkward it was, I don't think it's wise if we'd have anything going on between us. I don't wanna cause any problems between you two. And it definitely would cause some problems."

He does have a point, but I don't accept it.

"Why would it cause any problems? She cheated on you and now she's with Sebastian."

"I know, but I'm still her ex. How do you think she would feel if she'd find out that there's something between us?"

I guess he's right. There must be some kind of rule against it. And I don't think Clary would be too thrilled.

"You're right," I say and open the door, because I can't stand one second anymore of looking into his beautiful face and having him so close and I can't jump his bones no matter how much I want it.

He doesn't walk out the door.

"We could still be friends. I really like hanging out with you. Maybe I could come over tonight and I could refresh your memory about me?" he asks, looking hopeful. I can't deny him when he's looking at me like that, no matter how hard it is being around him and not being able to do anything.

"Okay, that sounds great." I smile at him.

"Great! I'll see you later then." He walks to me and hugs me. His body feels so warm and amazing pressed against mine. I wrap my arms around him too and we stay like that for a while. He separates and gives me a smile. He walks through the door and leaves me alone in my misery.


	2. Chapter 2

That evening Jace and I sit on my couch as he tells me about the time when he first got introduced to me.

"You gave me that typical protective big brother speech that you've probably given to every one of Clary's boyfriends." That definitely sounds like me. I remember giving it to Sebastian when they started dating in high school. Did I give it to him again when they started dating again? Maybe I should give it to him just in case.

"Then as the evening went by, you kept looking at me. And it wasn't a warning gaze or anything. It was filled with lust. It didn't bother me since I am a bisexual. I thought you were hot, but I was dating your sister, so…"

I must have felt this way about him before too. I just don't know why I can't remember him. Maybe I was hopelessly in love with him and my brain wants to shut that information out for my own good. Well if that's the case, it's not helping since I have this massive crush on him.

Jace tells me a story about how he, Clary, I and some of our friends went to the beach and I just kept drooling over him all the time.

Jace tells me that he and Clary dated for five months. So, that means that if they broke up four months ago and dated five months, I don't remember the last nine months, or maybe more.

The evening passes by fast as we talk. I'm very tired since I didn't sleep well last night.

"I'm very tired because of last night," I say.

"Yeah, maybe I should go then," Jace says and we both stand up. I walk him to the door and once again he gives me his amazing hug.

"We should definitely hang out sometime soon again. Maybe go to a club or a bar?" he asks.

"Sure, call me. Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

A few days later Clary comes for a visit since I asked her to. I have something I need to talk to her about.

We sit down on the couch and I'm nervous.

"There's something I need to say. I just need to tell this to someone. And you're kind of only one right now that I could talk about this to," I say nervously.

"I think I'm having a déjà vu."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask confused.

"Nothing. Just continue what you were saying."

"Okay… Well, I guess I'm just gonna say it. I think I'm bisexual."

Clary is frowning at me, looking confused.

"No…"

"I understand if this comes to you as a shock, but this is how I feel."

"No, I'm not shocked. It's just that, a couple of months ago you told me that you were gay. You told me that you've realized that you never really cared about the girls you dated and that it was missing something. You also told me that you realized all that because of a special someone. You said you were in love with him, but you didn't think he'd feel the same way."

I stare at her shocked. I knew I had feelings for Jace before! It has to be him that I was talking about. I was in love with him? I don't exactly feel like that right now. Maybe that's, because I've known him for almost a week now. Well, it would've been more if I'd remember him. Now that I think about all those girls I've dated and compare it to how I feel with Jace, I realize that I was right. I think I might be gay.

"Do you know who you might have been talking about?" Clary asks.

"No," I lie. I couldn't just blurt out: 'Yes, it was your ex!'

"Maybe it's better that way. You were pretty down when you thought that he could never feel the same way about you. I hated to see you so sad. When you'll find that someone special I won't care who it is. It only matters that you are happy." She smiles at me.

If only she would know. I don't think she would accept me and Jace. I'll never know anyway since neither of us will ever take the risk. I must've felt like this before my amnesia, so hopeless. Then I didn't probably know that Jace was bi, but it's not any better right now. He still doesn't want to take the risk and be with me. If he even wants to be with me. This is driving me crazy! Maybe I should try to get another concussion and get amnesia again. Okay, maybe that wouldn't help since I would see Jace and have all those feelings form him again.

* * *

A week later Jace calls to invite me to go to a bar with him. I wouldn't really wanna go, because of my feelings for him. Plus he's probably gonna have a lot of female attention in there and that is not something I wanna see. But I still agree.

I take a taxi to the bar and I see Jace already waiting for me by the bar as I go in. He gives me a smile as he sees me.

"Hi," he says. I greet him back and he gives me a quick hug. As we start drinking and talking, I start to feel more relaxed and enjoy the evening. That is until I decide to look around and see pretty much all of the women and a couple of men glancing at him. Of course some look at me, but somehow Jace is more inviting. He has this warm and welcoming energy. And everything about him is so fucking sexy.

I try to drink and concentrate on the conversation with Jace. I manage to do a good job, but then one of the women gets enough courage and comes to talk to Jace. He's immediately more interested in the woman who is wearing a very revealing dress. Maybe I should have worn something tight and revealing too to be able to keep his attention on me.

I wouldn't want to just give up and give them some space, but Jace already made it pretty clear that we can't have anything between us. And also I wouldn't want to seem rude by trying to come between them.

So, I sigh and drink the rest of my drink. I get up and use the restroom. As I'm washing my hands, I look at my reflection and wonder why Jace is choosing that girl over me. The look on my face is pathetically sad. I force a smile on my face and go back.

I spot Jace and see him sitting at one of the tables with the woman. And it pains me so badly to see them kissing. Just a couple of weeks ago he was kissing me like that. I wonder if it would've been just a fling for him if we would have gone further that day. He never said anything about having feelings for me. The only feeling that I think he felt for me was lust. So, it's very possible that he would've just left me heartbroken after we would've had sex. Maybe it's a good thing then that nothing happened.

I look around and notice a lonely black-haired guy sitting by the bar. Something about him makes him look like he might be gay, or maybe I just have a really good gaydar. I decide to go sit next to him. I order myself a drink and then turn to look at the guy.

"You look like you could need some company." He turns to look at me startled and I notice that he has very gorgeous blue eyes. He's very handsome and cute.

"Yeah. I just moved in here so I don't really know anyone yet." He gives a small timid smile.

"Well, now you do. I'm Jonathan," I say and extend my hand and he shakes it.

"Alec," he responds. "So, did you come here by yourself or..?" he asks looking around.

"I came here with my friend, but he kind of abandoned me and went to make out with some chick." I say and point at Jace.

"Wow, he's really hot," he blurts out and then turns to look at me wide-eyed. "I'm sorry. It's just…"

"It's fine. He is really hot. And perfect." I say the last part while looking at Jace, lost in my own world.

"Oh. So, you like him? That must really suck. I do know how it feels when you can't be with the one you love," he says sadly. I turn my head back to look at him.

"What happened?"

"We dated in high school, but then went to different colleges. I would've been ready to be in a long distance relationship, but he said it wouldn't work. I stayed in Chicago and he came here. That's actually one of the reasons why I moved here. Maybe I could meet him again. But that seems pretty unrealistic since New York is big and you don't just run into people here." He finishes his story with a very sad look in his beautiful blue eyes and I wonder how that guy could've left him after looking at those miserable eyes.

I feel very bad for him and I know how he feels since I can't be with Jace. I give him a reassuring smile and put my hand on his shoulder.

"I really hope you will run into him and things would work out between you two. Then at least one of us could have a happy ending," I say with a tight feeling in my chest.

"It must be really hard for having feelings for your friend. Especially since he's straight."

"Oh, he's not straight. It's just that… I don't even know how to begin to explain this without it sounding like something out of a soap opera"

"Go on, tell me," he urges on with a smile.

I explain him about Jace and my sister and my amnesia. I tell him how I noticed that I had feelings for Jace and then Clary told me how I have told her before the amnesia about being in love with someone. I also mention the heated moment Jace and I shared, without going into too much detail of course.

Alec is staring at me dumbfounded. I don't blame him.

"Wow. That really did sound something out of a soap opera. How do you know that Jace doesn't actually have feelings for you? Or that your sister wouldn't accept you two?" I look back at the table where Jace is still flirting and kissing with that woman.

"I don't know, but it seems very possible that Jace only did what he did with me because of lust and nothing more."

"But there's also a chance that he does have feelings for you."

"Yeah, it really does seem like it," I say bitterly, nodding my head towards Jace where he's making out with that stupid chick.

"Maybe she's just a distraction for him."

I turn to look at him as I get an idea.

"Maybe you could be a distraction for me," I say seductively and lean into kiss him. First he's a bit hesitant, but then starts moving his lips against mine. Just as our kiss is getting more passionate, I hear someone clearing their throat.

We separate. I turn my head and see Jace. I can't really read the emotion in his face. I notice that the stupid chick is with him. Okay, maybe she's not stupid, but I hate her, because she's with Jace.

"I came to tell you that we're gonna leave. You can still stay. I'll see you soon." He pats me on the back and then leaves with the woman. I'm left feeling incredibly miserable trying not to think about what they're gonna do together.

"I'm so sorry," Alec says and rubs my back gently.

"It's gonna be fine," I lie. It is not gonna be fine if I have to watch Jace getting it on with everyone else, but I can't have him. "I think I wanna go home."

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea."

We exchange phone numbers and decide that we could meet up again, as friends of course. That kiss was just a distraction. And we both love someone else. My love for Jace is coming back little by little as are my memories. I still don't have clear memories, but little bits.

As I arrive home, I collapse on my bed exhausted and miserable, the images of what Jace is doing now haunting me as I drift off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

One month is the time it takes for me to remember everything. I've already gone back to work and I had to get to know everyone again in there. I wasn't happy when I didn't remember Jace and he kept hooking up with women and sometimes with guys too. Now that I do remember, I'm absolutely miserable and thrilled and so many things.

I'm happy that we had that hot moment in my kitchen and that we got closer, but I feel terrible that we can't be together. It's almost as bad as when I had to see Jace being with Clary all the time.

I'm happy that I can spend time with him now. We weren't close before and now that we are, I'm really happy to have him in my life. But I'm still not happy about the fact that he keeps dating everyone else but me.

I wonder if I'd be just a hookup for him, just like everyone else. Or if I could be enough so that he would want to be in a relationship with me.

I feel like I'm going crazy as I have all these thoughts in my head all the time. Jace is driving me so fucking crazy. Always when we hang out in my apartment or his, I just want to jump him and do that stuff we did that one time and so much more. But I can't since he already made it clear that we can't have anything happen between us.

I don't know if Clary would really care. She's so happy with Sebastian now. And there's no right way to ask her about it! I can't just go to her and ask if it's okay for me to date her ex. Even if she would give me the permission, I still don't know how Jace would react. It would break my heart if I would tell him how we could be together and then he would tell me that he doesn't want that.

This situation is absolutely hopeless. I can't find a way to solve it. I should just forget all about it, but I can't since I see Jace almost every day.

I've also been hanging out with Alec sometimes. He did get his happy ending since he found his man and they're now happily reunited. Alec keeps pushing me to tell Jace how I feel, but I just can't do that. We're so close now and I don't want to ruin it by making him feel uncomfortable if I tell him about my feelings. There might be a possibility that he'd feel the same, but I don't want to risk it.

Jace is coming over tonight. I haven't told him that I remember completely now, but I think I should tell him tonight.

The evening arrives and I hear a knock on my door. I go open and it and see Jace looking so goddamn good. He steps inside and greets me with a hug. He always does that, but I still can't get over the fact how good his arms feel around me. Or how good it feels to have him in my arms. But it always ends too soon.

"Anything new in you life? Have you remembered anything new?" Jace asks as we go sit down on the couch in my living room.

"Actually... I do remember everything now." Jace's face lightens up and he looks really happy for me.

"Really?! That's great! Maybe we should go celebrate this," he suggests eagerly. I don't like that idea so much.

"I think we should just stay here. I mean, would it really be celebrating for me if you'd soon dump me for someone else?" I can't help it as some anger seeks into my voice. I hate how it happens every time when we go out. First we're talking and having a good time. Then suddenly some chick comes out of nowhere and steals Jace's attention. Few times I have stayed there and waited if Jace could notice me again, but he's always so interested in the girl.

Jace looks ashamed and apologetic.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it if they come to talk to me! But maybe it's a good idea if we'd stay here and have a good time, just the two of us," he says and smiles. I grin at him triumphantly and get up to get us some wine.

We spend the evening drinking wine and talking. I feel like the alcohol is making it so much harder for me to control myself and I feel like I might kiss him any moment. I'm afraid that I soon have no control left and I'll do something stupid. I kind of wish I would.

My gaze shifts to his lips for the millionth time this evening. They're moving as he's talking, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying. I lean in and his lips stop moving. I'm just looking at his lips and bringing mine closer to them. Jace is not even doing anything to stop me.

I finally get enough courage and close the distance between us. I kiss him with so much hunger since I've wanted this since the last time we kissed. Jace doesn't hesitate, but kisses me back with equal hunger, wrapping his arms around me and bringing me closer to his body. It feels even better now that I remember everything and my feelings are deeper.

I push Jace to lie down on the couch and lie down on top of him, without breaking the kiss. I feel amazing as I feel his body pressed against mine. I can feel him hardening as we keep making out fiercely. I feel so happy now that I can finally feel him the way I've wanted for so long.

I don't feel so happy anymore as Jace suddenly pushes me off.

"We shouldn't do this," he says. I feel so frustrated and sad. I tug my hair in frustration and feel tears starting to spill down my cheeks. I blame the alcohol. "I'm sorry, but-" Jace tries to explain as he notices my tears, but I can't listen.

"I get it! I'm so fucking sick and tired of this! It's so hard being around you and not be able to do anything we just did!" I yell at him, because I feel like I can't control myself. Jace is looking at me shocked.

"I'm sorry. We just can't."

"I know! I fucking know! And if we can't do this, then I want you to get the fuck out of here!" I know that I'm being a bit harsh, but I seriously feel like I can't stand being around him right now. I just want to be left alone and cry in peace, since I can't seem to be able to stop.

Jace is still looking at me with that shocked expression. He opens his mouth to say something, but I can't stand to hear any more of how we can't do this.

"It's best if you go now. We can't hang out anymore. It's too hard for me," I say, but Jace is not moving.

"But-"

"Just go!" I yell, because I really can't stand this anymore. Jace sighs in defeat and stands up from the couch. I watch as he walks to the front door. He turns to look at me one last time and then opens the door and leaves.

I curl up on the couch and the tears are still falling from my eyes. How can one person make me both really happy and really miserable?

I lie on the couch for who knows how long, thinking about Jace and letting the tears fall. Even though I feel like I couldn't possibly sleep in this state, I fall asleep on the couch.

* * *

I wake up to a knock on the door. First I'm confused to find myself on the couch, but soon remember the events of last night. I don't feel like crying anymore, because I'm not drunk and because I feel like I cried so much last night that I have no tears left.

I remember the knock on the door and get up from the couch. I stretch myself and it hurts everywhere. The couch is not very comfortable and I'm a bit hungover. I also feel awful because of all the crying I did last night.

I open the door and see Clary who's smiling, but the smile is wiped from her face as soon as she sees me. I must look really awful.

"You look awful," she says, looking at me sympathetically. "What happened?" I open the door wider to let her in and walk back to the couch. I'm so damn exhausted and I feel terrible.

"Nothing. I just drank too much last night." It's almost the truth. She doesn't need to know that I'm like this because I'm in love with her ex and he doesn't want to be with me. She could either get mad at me for being in love with her ex or she could get mad at Jace and go yell at him. Neither of those options sounds good right now.

"You really expect me to believe that?" she asks, sitting down next to me. I sigh and run my hand through my hair. Of course she doesn't believe me. She's not stupid. I haven't seen myself in the mirror, but I bet my eyes might be _slightly_ swollen from the crying.

"Yes?" I try.

"Well, I don't. I can see that you've been crying. And you look exhausted. What is it?" she asks concerned. I really want to tell her the truth, but I just can't.

"Can't you just leave it? I'm gonna be fine." I honestly have no idea if I really am going to be fine.

"No, I can't. I'm worried about you. Is it that guy you told me about? Did you remember who it was that you were in love with?" How could she possibly guess? I guess I looked as miserable back then too.

"Yes," I admit. It's not like I have to tell her who it is.

"Who is it? I mean, I know I probably don't know him, but what is it that makes the situation so hard?"

"It doesn't matter. It's not gonna get any easier if I tell you. I'm just gonna have to get over it and move on." It hurts so much to say that.

"What if we could come up with some solution together? Why can't you just tell me?"

"I just can't, okay? I don't want to talk about it." I'm getting a bit frustrated. I really don't need to be talking about this right now.

"Why?" she insists.

"It's Jace!" I yell frustrated. I don't know what came to me. I just blurted it out. Clary is looking shocked.

"I understand now how it's difficult," she finally says as she gets over the shock. Hearing her say that doesn't make me feel any better. It just confirms that Jace was right. She wouldn't accept it.

"Well, now you know. So, can you just leave?" I really wanna go back to sleep and see if I could feel any better when I wake up. At least the hungover could be gone then.

"You know Jace is straight. I know it doesn't make the situation any better, but at least he's not rejecting you because he would think that there's something wrong with you. He just doesn't like guys." I look at her confused. Didn't Jace ever tell her that he's bi? I guess they didn't just talk about it. Or Jace was afraid of telling her.

"No. He's bisexual." Clary is once again looking at me shocked.

"No, that's not true. He's like the straightest man in the whole world!" She laughs like it's the best joke ever that Jace could be bisexual.

"Say what you want, but he's bi. We have made out a couple of times." For the third time this morning, she's looking at me with her mouth almost hanging on the floor and her eyes wide open.

"What? How did he never tell me about it? And you guys kissed? Why doesn't he want to be with you? I mean, I'm really shocked, but I think I could accept it if it would make you happy. If he even wants to be with you. I really don't know about his feelings for you." I patiently wait for her to stop rambling. It's great that she's not mad at me and would accept me and Jace, but I still have no fucking idea how Jace feels!

"I don't know about his feelings either. He just once said that we can't have anything between us, because it could make things weird between you and me. I kissed him last night and we continued it for a while, but he then pushed me away and said that we can't be together." It hurts me to repeat the events of last night.

"It wouldn't hurt to ask. What if he's just holding back because he thinks I wouldn't accept? Because I do. I really want you to be happy. I hate seeing you look so miserable." Wow, I must look really, really awful.

"I don't know. The way I drove him away last night... I don't know if he wants to see me anymore. And I couldn't handle rejection. Maybe I should try to find someone else." I don't know if it's even possible for me to find someone else. At least not for a while. I need to give it time for me to get over Jace. I don't want to make anyone feel like the second best or like he's just a replacement.

"Just think about it at least. Promise me you'll think about it," she demands, looking into my eyes.

"Fine, I promise." I can at least think about it, but I probably won't change my opinion.

I give Clary a big hug before she leaves. She's so great at giving me advices and helping me. I don't know what I'd do without her. I'd probably still be lying hangover and miserable on the couch. It helped me to get some of that out and talk about things.

After Clary leaves, I go to sleep. I need to rest before I can do any thinking about anything.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is the last chapter. Sorry it took a while and I hope you like it :)**

* * *

It takes a week until I see Jace again. I open the door and there he is. He's looking miserable. His hair is messy. It's not that kind of sexy mess that it usually is, but like he's been tugging at it way too many times and way too roughly. There are dark circles under his eyes. He looks so tired.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, but not harshly, because he seems miserable enough. I somehow find myself opening the door wider and letting Jace walk in. He sits down on the couch and I follow. We sit there in silent and I wait for him to start talking. Soon he turns his head to look at me.

"I've missed you. It's so hard to stay away from you," his voice sounds so broken and it nearly breaks my heart. Well, my heart already is broken and seeing Jace is not helping me heal.

"I miss you too. But you need to understand how hard it is for me."

"How is it so hard? Why can't we see each other at all?" Jace clearly doesn't understand how deep my feelings are for him.

"Because if you haven't noticed, my feelings for you are not exactly friendly, but more than that."

"I know, but we can't-" I interrupt him, because I'm so tired of hearing him say how we can't do this.

"Stop saying that! Is it really because we can't or because you don't want this? Please, be honest with me." I wish his answer won't break my heart even more.

"Of course I want this! Why do you think I look like this? I'm going out of my fucking mind! I want you, but I'm trying too hard to do the right thing," Jace says desperately, trying to make me understand. I can't take the broken expression in his face anymore and hug him tightly. He seems hesitant at first, but then wraps his arms around me. We stay that way for a while. I've missed him so much. It has only been one week, but it feels so much more.

I separate myself from him, because I want some answers.

"Do you want to actually be with me or do you just want me for one night and then you'd dump me like everyone else?"

"Would I be so miserable if I'd only want you for one night?" He has a point.

"So, you would actually want to be with me?" I ask, getting hopeful. If I'd tell him that Clary accepted us, would he want to be with me?

"Yes, but you know how the situation is." He looks down with a somber expression.

"I kind of told Clary," I say nervously. Jace lifts his head and looks at me shocked.

"What did she say? Was she mad at you?"

"No. She actually accepted it. She said that she wanted me to be happy." Jace still looks shocked.

"Are you serious?" he asks carefully and I nod. He then grabs me by the back of my head and brings my lips to his. I release all the passion and desperation to the kiss and I feel like Jace does too.

In no time we're stumbling into my bedroom, both of us ripping each other's clothes off. His body is just as amazing as I remembered. I feel like neither of us has any control over our bodies, we just need each other so much.

We're both only wearing our boxers as Jace pushes me to lie down on the bed. I almost can't believe that this is happening. So many times I've only fantasized of him looking down at me with that sexy grin on his face and crawling to lie on top of me to press his body against mine.

"Tell me how much you want me," Jace says and presses his hard-on against mine. I think my gasping breath is enough to answer his question, but I answer anyways. He needs to know how much I want him.

"I want you so much. I've wanted this since the day I saw you the first time. I just wanted to push you against the nearest wall and rip your clothes off." It's getting harder and harder to talk as Jace just keeps rubbing himself against me the way I've wanted for so damn long. I'm almost convinced that this is one of my many sexual dreams about Jace.

"I don't think I would've been able to stop you." Jace's voice sounds so low and pleasured. I feel up those back muscles I once admired. His skin feels so smooth and is burning with the sexual need. Jace takes off both of our underwear. The contact with our bare cocks is so much better and it makes me want him so much more.

I've only been with few girls. I realized that I liked guys when I met Jace. And I haven't even wanted to be with anyone else since then.

I think it's a bit different situation with Jace. I can't exactly ask him since he chooses that moment to start kissing me. I don't think I can ever get over the fact how much Jace can make me feel. He's not kissing me very passionately or fast, but the way he's kissing me is still so erotic. His lips and tongue move against mine so sensually.

Jace's skin is clinging to mine and I never want this moment to end. But I do want more. I need to release all this sexual frustration I have inside, that I have had inside me since the day I first saw those gorgeous golden eyes.

"Do you want me to be on top or do you want to?" Jace asks when he removes his lips from mine.

"Have you ever been with a guy? 'Cause I haven't." I hope he knew this and isn't regretting this now.

"Yes, I've been with a few. I think you should be on top. I don't think you're ready to take this in," he says and rubs his erection against me. It does feel huge. And I want him so much right now. We don't have time for much preparations right now.

"Okay. But I don't have any lube or anything." I haven't even been thinking of anything like that. I've been trying to get over Jace since I thought we couldn't possibly ever be together. I didn't feel like trying it with anyone else either. If I ever would've gotten into that kind of situation with anyone, I probably would've started thinking how much I'd want him to be Jace. And that would have made me sad, which would have taken away my needs.

"Don't worry about that," Jace says and starts going lower until I feel his lips on my dick. He sucks and licks it while looking at me in the eyes. I groan and grip his hair. I don't know how much I can take.

"Jace," I groan, warning him. Jace complies and removes his mouth from me. He straddles me.

"I think that was enough anyway," Jace says and I look at him confused. "I shouldn't have too much problem taking you in now that I got your dick wet." Oh, so that's what he was doing.

"Are you ready?" Jace asks and takes my cock in his hand.

"Yes," I breath out. I'm nervous and horny and I need him.

I feel him start lowering himself on me and I'm once again left gasping for breath of how amazing it is. He stops when he's halfway there and then continues again. He stays still when he has me completely inside him. And that's good since I feel so close already. I need a moment to calm down a bit. All though, it's not really working since he's so tight around me.

"I just need a moment. I've never have anyone as big as you," Jace says. His head is resting on my shoulder.

"Well, it is pretty hard to find someone as big as me," I say and Jace lifts his head to look at me.

"I'm just as big as you, maybe even bigger."

"No-" but that's all I can say since Jace moves up and then down again. We groan at the same time.

"You were saying?" Jace asks, but I can't remember anything that I was trying to say. Jace is moving so slowly and I want faster. So, I decide to turn us around so I'm on top. Immediately I start moving and my pace is more harder and a bit faster. Jace looks so hot lying under me, his head thrown back on the pillow in ecstasy.

This is one of those moments I have imagined and thought could only happen in my sex fantasies. But this is really happening and it feels even better than I could have ever imagined.

"Is this okay?" I have to make sure. I don't know if he can take my size and the faster pace.

"Fuck yes," Jace groans and opens his eyes. "Do you have any idea how much I've wanted this for past few months?" Jace''s hands are on my lower back as I keep moving.

"Yes, I think I do. I've wanted this for so much longer than you though." I pick up my pace and Jace can't answer anything as he's only able to groan. I press my lips on his and wrap my arms around him. His skin is hot and slightly slick with sweat.

My pace gets faster and faster as I feel like neither of us is going to last long. We keep groaning and grunting against each other's lips.

I pull away from the kiss to look at Jace as I'm about to cum. I can feel Jace's fast breath on my lips. I move desperately and Jace is lifting his hips up.

"Jonathan!" Jace suddenly groans loudly and he comes. I can feel his cum leaking from his dick between our bodies. It causes me to come inside him. It's so strong that I collapse on top of Jace and still slightly move inside him.

I'm all worn out as I stop moving and rest my head on Jace's shoulder. Our bodies are stick with his cum, but I don't care right now.

"That was the best sex ever," Jace says, his hand resting on the back of my neck and gently stroking the skin there.

"I somehow find that really hard to believe," I answer and lift my head to look at him. He has been with many women and some men. They were probably more experienced than I.

"But I've never had such strong feelings for them." My heart starts beating fast in my chest. I remember my own feelings that moment and get nervous. I don't want to scare him away by letting him know how strong my feelings are for him. I don't know how strong Jace's feelings for me are, but I'm almost sure they're not as strong as mine.

_Not even my sister?_ is what I'd like to say, but I think it would be pretty inappropriate right now. I sometimes wonder how serious their relationship was. I'm scared to find out.

"We should take a shower," I say, trying to change the subject.

"Not yet," Jace answers and pulls me in for a kiss. I melt into it and forget about the shower, at least for a moment.

After a while of kissing, we finally go clean ourselves up. We kiss and hug in the shower and I feel so happy, the complete opposite of what I've been feeling lately.

Jace agrees to stay the night. As we're eating in my kitchen that evening, I get a crazy idea.

"My mom's birthday party is tomorrow. So, I was wondering if you'd like to come with me, as my date." Jace looks unsure.

"I don't know... Are you sure it's a good idea? I mean, I'd love to come with you, but Clary is going to be there and your parents are going to be shocked to find out about us. You know, because I dated your sister."

"I know it's a crazy idea, but if we're going to do this, we're going to have to tell them sooner or later. And I think Clary is just going to be happy. She didn't like seeing me so miserable when I thought you didn't want to be with me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It could be kind of fun to see everyone's shocked expressions, don't you think?" I ask and grin. I can see it. My mom and dad's wide eyes and mouths hanging open when they'd see me and Jace arriving to the party hand in hand.

A grin spreads across Jace's face too.

"Okay. It could be fun," he agrees. But then I get doubtful.

"We are together, right?" I ask. Jace lets out a laugh.

"Of course!" he answers and kisses me. "Are you ready to go to sleep?"

"Yes."

I'm so glad that this time I can curl up right beside Jace and I don't have to hide my feelings. I press a kiss on Jace's bare chest and wrap my arms around him. I rest my head on his chest and listen to his steady heartbeat.

"What do I need to wear tomorrow to the party?" Jace asks.

"Just some casual and stylish. Not anything too fancy. I'm sure you'll look handsome no matter what you wear."

"Of course I will. You will too. We're gonna look so great together."

"Absolutely. Now lets sleep so we will have enough energy to look great and shock everyone tomorrow." Jace chuckles.

"Okay. Goodnight." Lift my head and kiss Jace.

"Goodnight."

* * *

"Are you absolutely sure this is a good idea?" Jace asks once again. We're already driving to my parents' house, all dressed up. I was so happy when I woke up this morning and Jace was actually there, his warm body right against me. We couldn't resist each other, so we ended up having sex again. It was just as mind-blowing as last night. After that Jace once again made us those amazing pancakes and then went home to change his clothes.

"Not necessarily. I don't think this is the best idea ever, but it'll be fine. And fun," I say and once again imagine everyone being so shocked.

I'm driving us, because it's been a while since Jace has been in our parents house. With Clary. That's where I first met Jace. It was a family dinner and Clary had said that we could finally meet her new boyfriend. She had been talking about him so much. He seemed like Mr. Perfect. And he really was. The reaction Jace caused in me was so confusing. He was a man and last time I checked, I didn't like men. But I was really oblivious then.

When I look back, I realize that I had been looking at other men before Jace, but I just never wanted to really think about it. I ignored it and thought that maybe I was just comparing them to myself or noticing that the clothes they're wearing are nice. But when I saw Jace, I couldn't just ignore the feeling I had for him. I felt lust and want. I noticed how beautiful and handsome he was. I couldn't stop staring at him during the evening no matter how hard I tried.

I never would've thought that night that I'd be lucky enough to be with him. But I'm here now and I have the gorgeous man right next to me. This time I'm going to be the one to introduce him as my boyfriend to my parents. Maybe I should have texted them to warn them about this. But I dismiss the thought as I think of how hilarious they're faces will be.

I park the car in front of my parents' house and right away Jace attacks me with his lips. I entwine my hands in his golden curls and kiss him back with the same amount of passion. Jace doesn't seem get enough of me and I'm glad, because I can't get enough of him either.

Our kisses slow down and I peck Jace one more time before separating.

"I had to do that, because I can't imagine of not being able to do that for the next few hours. You drive me crazy," Jace says while looking into my eyes and his hands are cupping my face. My heart pounds hard in my chest as I feel the love for him. I want so badly to tell him how much I love him. But I just can't. Not yet. I just got him and I don't want to lose him by scaring him away.

"You drive me crazy too. But we have to go."

I take Jace's hand in mine as we walk towards my parents' house. We're walking pretty slowly since both of us are very nervous.

"Are you ready?" I ask when I'm about to open the door.

"No," Jace says. I give him a quick kiss.

"Neither am I, but we have to do this." I take a deep breath and open the door. I hear voices coming from the living room. It's very spacious and open, so I guess all the guests are there.

I hear footstep coming closer to me and Jace. I feel so relieved when I see that it's Clary. She smiles brightly when she sees me and Jace.

"Hi!" she says cheerfully and walks towards us. "I'm so glad to see you two together." She then turns to Jace. "Why didn't you ever tell me that you are bi?"

"I guess I never remembered to mention it," he answers. I'm so glad when I can see that there's no tension or hate between them.

"Where's mom and dad?" I ask and I can't help it that I sound so nervous.

"They're in the living room. It'll be fine. And I'm so happy for you guys."

"Thank you," I say and quickly hug her. I take Jace's hand and lead him to the living room. I see my mom's red hair and walk over to her, dragging Jace behind me. I need to get this over with.

"Happy birthday," I say and hug her. I give her the present.

"Thank you," she answers and smiles the same kind of bright smile Clary did a moment ago. She's almost like a copy of her. And I'm almost a copy of my dad, who is standing next to mom and looking at Jace confused. I should have bought him a present too, to distract him with it.

Mom then notices Jace too. I think I need to explain this before they're making Jace feel to uncomfortable with all the staring.

"I guess I have some explaining to do," I say and take Jace's hand in mine once again. They look at me, waiting for me to explain. "Jace and I are together," I blurt out.

"Oh," my mom says and dad is just nodding his head slowly and looking thoughtful.

"Please, say something," I plead.

"This is really unexpected. I noticed how the first time you saw Jace, you couldn't keep your eyes off of him. And the way you've been talking about him lately, I'm not really that surprised," mom says. I've told my mom how Jace has become such a great friend to me. I guess she noticed that there was something more going on.

"I've always noticed that you've never dated any girl for that long. So, I started suspecting that you might be gay. But I didn't expect you to date Jace," my dad says and frowns.

"He's bisexual. And he helped me after my little incident and amnesia. I hope you're both okay with this, because Jace means a lot to me." I nervously wait for them to say something.

"Of course we're okay with this! I can see how much Jace means to you and how happy you are together," mom says and then looks at Jace. "I'm glad you took care of Jonathan and I hope that this one won't end as badly as it did with Clary." Way to make the situation uncomfortable!

"I'm sure it won't. I love your son and won't let him escape me." My eyes widen at his confession. No one seems to notice since my parents are talking with Jace. They're saying something, but I can't concentrate on the words.

Then my dad walks closer and I snap out of it.

"Welcome to the family. Again," he says and pats Jace on the shoulder. Jace grins and looks at me. I can see the love in his eyes now that I know how he feels.

I quickly drag Jace to the backyard. I close the door behind me and turn to Jace.

"Did you really mean it when you said you loved me?" Jace grins and kisses me.

"Of course. I wouldn't say it if I didn't actually mean it. You're the first person besides my family who I've wanted to say those words to." It makes me really happy to hear that. Now I can be sure that it wasn't that serious with him and Clary. It would bother me if it would've been.

"What words?" I ask, because I actually want to hear him say it to me. He looks me deeply in the eyes.

"I love you," he says and I feel like I just melted.

"I love you too."

"I know that. You showed it pretty well last night and this morning." His voice gets a heated tone in it.

"Why don't I show you right now how much I love you." I cup his face and start kissing him. But Jace separates before it gets too passionate.

"Did you forget where we are?" he asks amused.

"No. Maybe we should go to my place. There are plenty of guests. They won't notice if we're not here."

"Maybe not. But I don't want to leave a bad impression on your parents if we leave too soon."

"Fine," I sigh and give him a one last kiss. I drag him inside back to the boring party.

* * *

It's been a year since the incident. Jace moved in with me after we had been together three months. We just couldn't stay away from each other.

This time a year ago I woke up from an icy ground. Now I wake up with my amazing boyfriend in our bed.

"Do you know what day today is?" I ask and move the hair away from Jace's eyes as we're lying on our bed. He frowns and desperately tries to remember. I think he thinks today is some special anniversary he has forgotten.

"No. I'm sorry, I just don't remember." He looks really worried that he has forgotten something.

"It's okay. It's not that special. It's been a year now from that day when I slipped on ice and you took care of me."

"Oh! It is," he now realizes. "I took pretty good care of you, didn't I?" He grins.

"Yes. I was so lucky to have you take care of me. I was also very confused of the way I felt about you."

"I noticed it." Jace chuckles.

"It was not funny! It was awful."

"It was funny to notice what kind of effect I had on you."

"But it was not funny when I was still having amnesia and then you were with everyone else but me." That time was hell. The pain I felt when I saw Jace with someone else was just so awful.

"I know. But we're here now. And very happy."

"Yes we are," I say and kiss Jace gently. I hug him against my body tightly, because I can and because I feel a little cold from all those bad memories. I need his body heat to make me feel warmer.

"When I noticed that I had those feelings for you, I wondered if I had hit my head so badly that it caused me to have those feelings." Jace laughs.

"Really?! That's ridiculous!"

"Hey! Don't laugh at me. It could happen! It could have accidentally moved something in my brains to make me gay."

"Really?" Jace lifts one eyebrow and lets out another laugh. "I doubt that's possible. Maybe it made you stupider," he teases.

"Aren't you nice today," I say sarcastically.

"I'm always nice," he defends.

"Sure," I say and roll my eyes.

"I can show you just how nice I am," Jace says seductively and rolls us around so he's on top of me.

Jace and I spend the rest of the morning in bed, making sure that if I'll ever have amnesia again, I definitely won't forget him.


End file.
